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Complaint Letter Generator | I Am Hilarious

Complaint Letter Generator Written on May 21, 2009 by alexc in Lafs

If you’ve been burned by unscrupulous individuals or organizations, but just don’t have the time or vocabulary to properly address their subordinates in a complaint letter, Scott Pakin has the answer in Scott Pakin’s Automatic Complaint Letter Generator . Take, for example, this complaint letter generated in less than 10 seconds about me, Robert C. Bowman III


My complaint about Mr. Robert C Bowman III

As a citizen of this country, which I believe in and which I have seen Mr. Robert C Bowman III tear apart, I must take a strong position on Robert’s prank phone calls, which, after all, develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence Robert’s opponents. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is. He is a human leech dedicated to sucking the life out of our doomed corpses. How much more illumination does that fact need before Robert can grasp it? Assuming the answer is “a substantial amount”, let me point out that Robert hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What he lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that Robert believes that he can change his covinous ways. That’s just wrong. He further believes that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. Wrong again!

The implications of doctrinaire simplism may seem theoretical but they have concrete meaning for thousands of people. Robert occasionally shows what appears to be warmth, joy, love, or compassion. You should realize, however, that these positive expressions are more feigned than experienced and invariably serve an ulterior motive, such as to manipulate everything and everybody. Daily, the truth is being impressed upon us that his dream is for us to lay down our freedom at our feet and say to him, “Make us your slaves, but feed us”. Well, that’s getting away from my main topic, which is that I am sick of our illustrious “leaders” treading on eggshells so as not to upset Robert. Here’s what I have to say to them: Robert’s accomplices are unified under a common goal. That goal is to adopt approaches that have not been tested to try to solve problems that have not been well-defined.

Common-sense understanding of human nature tells us that for Robert’s crafty plans to succeed, he needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. In the immediate years ahead, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like “hyperphosphorescence” and “hydrometallurgically”. They will be incapable of comprehending that people used to think I was exaggerating whenever I said that as soon as Robert’s operatives make mawkish, abominable talebearers out to be something they’re not, their crusades will cease to educate the public on a range of issues and instead will “s Moncler-Coats-Womens/Moncler-Coats-Womens/Moncler-Down-Coats/piumini-moncler-baby-outlet-rid-0.html. moncler jackets babyolve” all our problems by talking them to death. After seeing Robert put a clog on all attempts to limit his power these same people now realize that I wasn’t exaggerating at all. In fact, they even realize that if Robert doesn’t like it here, then perhaps he should go elsewhere. To end this letter, I would like to make a bet with Mr. Robert C Bowman III. I will gladly give him a day’s salary if he can prove that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly, as he insists. If Robert is unable to prove that, then his end of the bargain is to step aside while I explain a few facets of this confusing world around us. So, do we have a bet, Robert?


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complaint letter generator

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moncler vest mens Random complaint generator Started by gvman3670 , Mar 31 2014 10:15 PM This topic has been archived . This means that you cannot reply to this topic. 2 replies to this topic #1 gvman3670 Posted 31 March 2014 - 10:15 PM gvman3670 Crusty Gamer

Members 4,669 posts Here, try this. It's fun. And can even add some spice to your forum experience.
For example, I'd like to complain about ol' Dark0ne over at Nexus. So I slip his name in there and I got this at random.....

My complaint about Dark0ne

In all my letters, I try harder than anything else to make myself clear. I try to state things as simply and unambiguously as I can because I find that that's the best way to convince my readers that Dark0ne expresses hostile odium toward anyone who intends to cast a gimlet eye on his vaporings. In the text that follows, when I quote from him, I will use the word “excrement” in place of another word which is now apparently permitted in general circulation publications and which I have edited out. I know more about incendiarism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Dark0ne's monographs have created a yellow-bellied, two-faced universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that Dark0ne is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. Only within this universe does it make sense to provide financial support to backwards banana republics and their temulent dictators. And, only if we improve the lot of humankind can we destroy this loathsome universe of his and put an end to his evildoing.

Although I can find only circumstantial evidence of misconduct and rule violations, if I didn't sincerely believe that Dark0ne's peevish smear tactics bring to mind the maxim that Dark0ne needs to internalize the external truth that he is trying to fill our children's minds with raving and debasing superstitions just to prove he can, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. His opinion is that his vices are the only true virtues. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that Dark0ne's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree.

Dark0ne is like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of cronyism and you'll see an uncouth shirker hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of conspiracism in an unregenerate attempt to peddle the snake oil of insurrectionism-oriented ruffianism. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see a person as inherently jealous or inherently overbearing. Alas, Dark0ne is doing all he can to provide us with unmistakable proof that he is inherently both. For instance, Dark0ne exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. Help me help people see Dark0ne's philopolemical apothegms for what they are. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time. Back to top AdBot AdBot Advert #2 gvman3670 Posted 31 March 2014 - 10:16 PM gvman3670 Crusty Gamer

Members 4,669 posts

Try it out. Use it. Have fun with it. Back to top #3 gregathit Posted 01 April 2014 - 04:13 PM gregathit Duck and Cover

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Insurance Code Complaint

Instructions to Users:

Step 1: Use this letter to complain about a breach of the Code

Use this letter if you would like to complain about the behaviour of an insurance company. Once completed you should email this letter to which is a separate section of the Financial Ombudsman Service of Australia that investigates alleged breaches of the General Insurance Code of Practice. If you would like to read the Code, it is available here .

Important Note: If this complaint is about your own insurance policy and you have an outstanding dispute with your insurer (including about delay in deciding your claim) you should also consider lodging a complaint with the Financial Ombudsman Service – see our factsheet Dispute Resolution (Insurance) . Lodging a complaint with Code Compliance may impact on the insurer’s future conduct but it will not resolve your dispute.

Step 2: Complete the questions below

Answer the questions below to customise your letter. Once you have completed the questions click the Preview Letter button below. The letter generator will prompt you if there is missing information. If you realise you need to change your answers, use the Click here to change your selections feature, above or below the previewed letter.  Do NOT use the back arrows on the address bar or you will need to start all over again.

Step 3: Copy & Paste the letter into your Email program and send it to  

You will need to copy & paste the generated letter into your email or into a Word document in order to send the letter to the other party. Once you have pasted the generated letter into your own email or Word program you can make additional changes to the main text of the letter, however we do not advise deleting any of the legal content that has been automatically generated.

This letter should be used for information only and should not be relied upon as legal advice.

Click here to change your selections

Click here to change your selections

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